Jan 1, 2009

I don't know what to do anymore...

So this is a new thing for me, and I am sorry if it depresses you but I am not used to this kind of feeling.

If you don't know about a month or so ago a man named John Fisher came and talked to the College Class at Living Hope about a mission opportunity in Fargo. At the time I was totally pumped and I felt that this is what I should do with my summer.

That is not the case anymore...

I can honestly say that I am not going to do the mission work in Fargo this summer. In fact I am not even going to apply. This might come as a surprise to many of my friends as I was completely gung-ho about going to Fargo.

This came as a surprise to me as well. But as the application deadline approached I just started to feel like this wasn't what I should be doing. But the thing is...I don't know if this feeling is a God thing or not. This really upsets me. I thought that my desire for Fargo was a God thing, but looking back at it now, I am not so sure...

So here is my dilemma, I do not what I am supposed to do for the summer. Fargo is not an option anymore...

Anyone have any thoughts?

1 comment:

Peace said...

I know how you feel man- I've experienced this before. The first time it happened was last spring, when I was deciding whether or not to work Centri-Kid again. I ended up having to back out from working anyway, because I had to retake a class over the summer. I went through it again this fall. I really felt like I was supposed to go on the East Asia trip. I attended the interest meeting, came home really excited, and then argued with my parents over it. But as the week went on, I got less and less excited about it.

And you know what?? Both of em worked out. At first, I was REALLY bummed about not working camp, even though I felt like I shouldn't be working anyway. But I stayed in BG for the summer, retook my class, and it paid off- I got into dental school. And it turns out, going to East Asia wouldn't be the best thing for me right now...my stomach is still getting used to working without a gallbladder to help it out, and that's with American food. There is no way that I could've foreseen getting my gallbladder out when signing up for the trip.

So, all of this to say, I know it's frustrating and confusing right now, but odds are, if you really feel like Fargo wasn't for you this summer, then it's God telling you so. I can't promise that He is, but I'm sure there's a reason you aren't going anymore. He works in very funny and mysterious ways. Regardless, He has something planned for you this summer...Fargo or not. :)